


I Can't Wait To See This Through

by soft_satan



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bank Robbery, Blood, Cute Kids, Dad Evan "Buck" Buckley, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gun Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Shooting, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21687625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soft_satan/pseuds/soft_satan
Summary: If Buck analyzed the worst days of his life, they would all have one thing in common – they all started out great. If he ever concentrated too much on that pattern, then every good thing that ever happened to him would probably just give him crippling anxiety as he waited for the other shoe to drop. And that afternoon would have definitely caused him intense anxiety based on how good it had already been so far.But then maybe he would have known to quit while they were ahead and go home, and they wouldn’t have gotten into such a mess.---In which Buck and Christopher have a wonderful afternoon up until they get caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 213
Kudos: 1343





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theobligatedklutz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theobligatedklutz/gifts).



> This fic is dedicated to my dear friend Hilow. We've only just met, but I already love you so much. You're wonderful and I couldn't have finished this without you and your constant encouragement 💛
> 
> Title is from "Ten Days Late" by Third Eye Blind

If Buck analyzed the worst days of his life, they would all have one thing in common – they all started out great. The day he and Christopher had almost died in a tsunami had started out with a beautiful morning full of laughs and meaningful conversation with one of his favorite people. The night a blood clot nearly killed him had begun with a surprise party dedicated to him, thrown by the people he loved. But it was because of that pattern that he made a point not to analyze his bad days. Because if he ever concentrated too much on that pattern, then every good thing that ever happened to him would probably just give him crippling anxiety as he waited for the other shoe to drop. And that afternoon would have definitely caused him intense anxiety based on how good it had already been so far.

But then maybe he would have known to quit while they were ahead and go home, and they wouldn’t have gotten into such a mess.

He and Eddie weren't working together that day, Buck getting off from a shift as Eddie was starting one. Buck was going to pick Christopher up from school, so he had taken the opportunity to make plans for some quality time with the boy until Eddie got off that night. Buck was pacing back and forth as he planned the afternoon, having already clocked out but sticking around to hang out with Eddie for a bit. Eddie just watched his boyfriend pacing, leaning against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed and a grin on his face.

“We’ll go get fro-yo, go to the arcade, maybe run around the park to burn off the rest of the fro-yo,” Buck rambled, bright blue eyes staring off into space as he walked back and forth.

“You’re so cute when you get excited,” Eddie chuckled, looking at Buck with what Hen would describe as “heart eyes.” “How much coffee did you have last night? Are you even going to be able to nap?”

Buck’s ears turned pink, loving the feeling of butterflies that Eddie’s eyes on him still gave him. Even after a year the “honeymoon period” still hadn’t ended, despite warnings that it would from just about everyone around them. Buck didn’t think it ever would, as long as Eddie kept giving him that smile. “Who cares? I’m excited! With all the double shifts lately, I feel like I’ve barely gotten to see Chris in weeks.”

“Yeah, me too,” Eddie sighed. “But seeing Christopher’s face when we tell him we’re going to Disneyland for his birthday will be well worth it.”

Buck finally stopped pacing, turning to Eddie, eyes sparkling with joy and wonder. “I can’t wait.”

Eddie just stared at him, a blissful look on his face that made Buck feel warm. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Buck replied eagerly, leaning in to steal a kiss.

“Hey! I thought we agreed – no PDA on the clock,” Chim quipped as he came up the stairs, Hen right behind him making a mock-gagging noise.

Buck gave them a defiant smirk, slipping his arms around Eddie’s waist and pulling him close. He gave Eddie another chaste kiss, then stuck his tongue out at their friends.

“Ooohh, a bad boy,” Eddie purred, draping his arms over Buck’s shoulders. He wiggled his eyebrows at his boyfriend. “I love a rule breaker. You should go by a thrift store today, get a leather jacket.”

“You joke, but I’m actually going to do that now,” Buck chuckled, thrilled by the fire that his statement brought to his boyfriend’s eyes.

When the alarm started blaring, Buck stepped back from Eddie with a disappointed groan. Eddie gave his shoulder a squeeze and stole one more quick kiss that made Buck weak in the knees.

“Have fun today!” Eddie called back over his shoulder as he took off for the stairs. “I love you!”

“Love you, too!” Buck called after him, going to the railing to watch the team suit up and move out. “Be careful!”

Eddie shot Buck a smile and a wink as he got into the truck. As they pulled away, Buck released a deep, dreamy sigh. He couldn’t wait to marry that man.

…

After a shower and a couple hours of sleep, Buck found himself in the pickup line at Christopher’s school, watching for the boy to come out of the school. The moment he saw Christopher’s smiling face among the other students, Buck jumped out of his jeep, coming around to meet the boy at the end of the sidewalk. He was talking to one of his friends, his glasses sliding down his nose as he nodded enthusiastically at something his friends said. Buck just watched with a smile, the depth of his love for the boy causing a warm ache in his chest. As he got further down the sidewalk, Chris finally looked up to scan the parking lot for a familiar car, his already happy face lighting up like the sun when he met Buck’s eyes. It filled Buck’s heart, and his eyes.

“Buck!” he called, picking up the pace as much as his little legs and crutches could.

Buck chuckled, meeting Chris halfway and scooping him up into a tight hug. Even as he neared ten, he still loved being picked up for a bear hug, and Buck was going to get as many as he could before Christopher eventually grew out it. Christopher giggled as Buck nuzzled his hair and gave him a kiss on the cheek before putting him down.

“How was your day, Superman?” Buck asked, leading Chris back to his jeep.

“Great!” Chris enthused. “Did you put out any fires last night?”

Buck chuckled as he gave Christopher a boost up into the jeep. “No fires. Just a couple silly accidents. One guy got his foot stuck in a toilet. And it hadn’t been flushed yet!”

“Eww!” Christopher scrunched up his face.

“So, with that appetizing image in mind,” Buck chuckled, helping his boy get buckled in. “You ready for fro-yo?”

“Heck yesss,” Christopher whispered, eyes wide in wonder as if someone had offered him a million dollars. “Can I get sprinkles?”

“You can get whatever you want.” Buck ruffled his hair lovingly before shutting the door, jogging around the jeep to get in.

…

“So… Christopher…” Buck began, squirming uneasily in his seat as he lazily dragged his spoon through the mountain of Oreos crumbled on top of his fro-yo.

“So… Buck…” Christopher mocked him, a mischievous grin on his face as he copied the way Buck was resting his chin on his fist, elbow on the table.

Buck narrowed his eyes at the boy as a smile pulled at his lips. Christopher giggled and gave up the mimicking, taking a heaping bite of his sprinkle-covered concoction. Buck sobered a bit, clasping his hands together on the table. He leaned in, waiting for Chris to meet his eyes before he began.

"I have a very important question to ask you, but I need you to know that whatever your answer, nothing changes. I will always love you and your dad, no matter what. You can say no and I won’t be mad or upset or sad. I just,” Buck sighed, his stomach flipping with nerves. “I just want you to be honest about how you feel, okay? Do we have a deal?”

Christopher nodded, reaching across the table to cover Buck’s clasped hands with his own two. Buck smiled, taking the boy’s hands in his and giving them a soft, comforting squeeze.

“I love your dad. Like… soooo much. Almost as much as I love you,” Buck winked, making Christopher giggle. “And I was thinking… if you’re okay with it, and it’s totally okay if you’re not… I want to ask your dad to marry me.”

Suddenly Christopher’s eyes grew to the size of dinner plates, his crooked smile spreading further across his face than Buck had ever seen. It was exactly the face he anticipated for the Disneyland reveal, and it was enough to eliminate all anxiety he felt.

“YES!” Christopher cried out, gaining confused and concerned stares from the other people in the shop. "Yes yes yes please! That would be so cool!”

Buck felt tears threatening to fall as Christopher squeezed his hands, bouncing in his seat. “You’re sure it’s okay?”

“And you can adopt me!”

Buck couldn’t deny the thrill he got just from the idea of that. “Yeah, if your dad was okay with it, I guess…”

“My friend Kara’s mom got married and he adopted Kara and she got a new last name and everything! Are you gonna take our last name? Will we take yours? I wanna be a Buckley too! Kara’s got her mom’s name and her new dad’s name! We could do that!”

“Whoa, calm down, dude. Take a deep breath,” Buck laughed, even as he felt a blush creep across his face just at the mention of taking Eddie’s last name. He had been toying with the idea of “Buckley-Diaz” for almost as long as he had known the Diaz boys. “That’s something we’re going to have to get your dad’s thoughts on, but we will definitely talk about it.”

“This is gonna be great,” Chris wiggled in his seat, taking his hands back from Buck to get back to his fro-yo.

“Okay, now that we’ve got that out of the way, there’s one more thing I need your thoughts on,” Buck whispered conspiratorially, reaching into his jacket pocket and producing a small box. He slid it across the table and left it in front of Christopher. “Do you think he’ll like these?”

Christopher eagerly snatched the box up and opened it, his face lighting up at the two rings that lay within. “Yes!” he squeaked. “They’re so pretty…”

Buck felt warm. He thought that Eddie would like the design he’d picked out, but having Christopher’s approval eased any shreds of doubt he had. “Now, you can’t tell anyone we talked about this, Christopher,” Buck said, taking the box back as Chris offered it, slipping it back into the safety of his jacket pocket.

The little boy’s brow furrowed in concern. “You mean lie? I don’t like lying.”

“No no no,” Buck shook his head with a chuckle. “Not a lie, a secret. A surprise. Like Christmas presents. I want to surprise your dad when I ask him.” He extended a pinky finger, holding it out to Chris. “Can you keep it a secret? I’ll let you help me plan the surprise.”

Christopher linked his pinky with Buck’s, using his other hand to zip his mouth shut with an invisible zipper, pretending to throw the imagined zipper pull it across the room. “Your secret is safe with me.”

Buck tousled Christopher’s hair, earning him a giggle. “Thanks.”

“So does this mean I can call you dad now?”

Buck just about choked on the bite of fro-yo he'd taken, barely managing to swallow it in time to catch his breath. He stared at Chris across the table as the boy focused solely on his dessert, his demeanor completely casual. Maybe to a nine year old, this wasn't such a big deal, but it meant everything to Buck. Emotion swelled in his chest, and Buck had to blink rapidly to get his eyes to dry as tears welled behind them.

“Uh… yeah. If– if that's something you want to do. But you don't have to if you don't want to.”

“Okay.” Christopher just nodded in understanding, grinning up at Buck as he took another sprinkle-covered bite.

Buck snorted a laugh as Christopher stuck out his blue tongue at him. Damn it, he loved this kid.

…

Buck strolled up to the bank just as Christopher finished telling him about the game he’d played with his friends at lunch that day. The boy was practically vibrating with a sugar rush, his teeth and lips still tinted blue from the birthday cake flavored fro-yo he’d had. The little boy’s arms were wrapped snuggly around Buck’s neck as he carried him piggy-back, his crutches left in the back of the jeep. It wasn’t until they had gotten to the arcade that Buck remembered that his ATM card was broken, but with gorgeous weather and his bank just down the block, it seemed a perfect opportunity for a stroll.

“Okay, Chris, we just have to go inside real quick and get some cash out, and then we are headed back to the arcade,” Buck explained. “Sound good?”

“Yep!” Chris chirped, resting his chin on Buck’s shoulder.

In front of the bank Buck set him down, opening the door and taking Christopher’s hand to give him some stability as they walked in. The line wasn’t too terribly long, but Buck still cursed himself for not yet replacing the debit card he had snapped in half trying to unlock the bathroom door.

But however long the line, dumping ice water over Eddie while he was in the shower was worth it.

There was an older gentleman at the window for one of two tellers, a heavily pregnant woman at the other. Behind them there was a girl who looked to be in her early teens, her eyes fixed on her phone as her mother talked animatedly on her own phone. Just in front of Buck and Christopher in line were two guys who looked to be college-aged, one of them holding up a camera to which both were taking turns speaking. Buck shook his head and smirked. Christopher started telling him about the field trip his class had coming up, and Buck’s full attention fell on the boy he loved so much. He listened intently as Chris started naming off the fish that were supposed to be there at the aquarium, and all the ones you could pet in the wave pool. He was so captivated by Christopher’s enthusiasm that Buck didn’t hear the bell jingle on the door, signaling that someone else had entered the building. He didn’t hear the lock being slid into place in the door, or see the way both of the ladies behind the counter blanched suddenly.

But he couldn’t miss the unmistakable explosion of gunfire behind him, or the way Christopher screamed.

Looking back, Buck wouldn’t remember moving as fast as he did, or really at all. In one second he was standing there with Chris, in the next he had Chris on the floor, Buck bracing himself overtop of the boy to cover him completely with his own body. He kept his head down, one arm bracing himself so he wouldn’t squish the small boy with his body, the other wrapped protectively around Christopher, his head resting in Buck’s hand where he had braced him to keep him from hitting his head on the floor. Christopher was sobbing already, his thin frame trembling violently, and it broke Buck’s heart.

“Shh, you’re okay, I’ve got you,” Buck whispered as the man started shouting. His heart was pounding out of his chest, but he swallowed down his fear and forced his voice to come out steady. “I won’t let anything happen to you, Christopher.”

“Everybody stays down or I start shooting!” the man screamed. “You! Out of the office!”

Buck could hear a couple of the other patrons crying, but none were as heartbreaking as Christopher’s whimpers. He tightened his grip on the boy, gently scratching his scalp as he held his head in his hand. Chris seemed to relax a bit with this, wrapping his arms around Buck’s forearm, clinging to him. Buck dared to look up from the floor and take in the scene. The man with the gun was wearing a black ski mask, only his eyes and a thin mouth visible. What skin was showing was flushed and slick with sweat. His black hoodie and grey jeans looked old but not too worn out. He had his handgun trained on the bank manager as he exited his office, hands raised. It struck Buck as odd that the man didn’t seem to be as shaken as everyone else, but he just filed it away to analyze later. He was most likely just in shock.

“You’re going to get everything you can out of the vault and put it in this bag,” the gunman instructed, taking off the empty duffle bag he had slung across his chest and shoving it into the manager’s broad chest. “I’m gonna stay here where I can watch you and them. And if ANY of you try to play hero, someone’s gonna die! You all got that?!”

Christopher whimpered and squirmed beneath Buck, but all he could do to comfort the boy was hold him a little tighter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG but the fic is done! I've got over half of it edited, I just need to edit the rest and do a proofread of each chapter before I post them. I'm going to try and post chapter 3 tomorrow or tuesday, but my days never go the way I plan them, so we shall see!
> 
> ENJOY!!!

The alarms going off pulled a groan from Eddie’s lips. He reluctantly peeled himself off the couch where he’d been resting his eyes, following the rest of his team to the trucks. He couldn’t wait for his shift to be over. Knowing that he had a bed and his boyfriend’s arms waiting for him when he got home would have to be enough motivation to get him through the rest of the day, because coffee was barely helping. But they had the next two days off together, and Eddie couldn’t fight the smile that pulled at his lips at the thought.

“We’re heading to a bank robbery that is still in progress,” Bobby informed them as they put on their turnout gear. “Shots were fired, but it is unclear yet how many injuries there are, if any. Police just want us on standby as of right now. There’s no telling what might happen or how we’ll be needed.”

As they loaded up into their vehicles, Eddie’s gut twisted with dread, but he couldn’t figure out why.

…

“Hurry up!” the gunman cried as the manager returned from the back.

The duffle bag hung heavily, the strap digging deeply into the manager’s shoulder. The manager let the bag slip off his shoulder and hit the floor with a dull thud at his feet. The robber waved his gun, motioning for the manager to join the rest of them on the floor. As the masked man hoisted the bag up onto his shoulder, turning for the door, the sound of sirens could be heard coming down the road, and suddenly the small lobby was bathed in flashing red and blue lights. Buck could see the panic fill the masked man’s eyes and his gut twisted with fear, his arm tightening around Christopher. This man was about to get desperate. The only thing worse than a man with a gun, was a panicked man with a gun.

“No! They weren’t supposed to come yet! Who hit the alarm?!” the man screamed, moving his gun between the two tellers who had had their hands up the entire time.

The two women looked terrified, one of them with mascara-blackened tears running down her face. Buck wanted to say something, to do something, but the boy pressed to his chest was his only true concern at the moment. No matter what he wanted to do, his civil-servant instincts were greatly overshadowed by his paternal instincts. He was not about to say or do anything that may rile the gunman up or put a target on his head. As long as Christopher was in the building, Buck was his defense, and only his. “Keep your eyes closed, Chris,” he whispered. If the man started shooting, he really didn’t want Christopher witnessing it.

“Someone outside probably heard you fire the warning shot,” the manager quipped, tone awfully biting for someone with a gun pointed in his direction.

“Shut up!” the gunman roared. He looked like he was about to have a panic attack, breathing heavy, looking around at the small building frantically. “Let me think.”

As much as Buck wanted to keep his head down, he knew that if he was going to get Christopher out of there, he had to do something before the nutjob with the weapon lost his mind and started firing. He sat up on his elbow to get a better look around, still keeping Christopher pressed to his chest and completely blocked from the gunman. The man was pacing back and forth, eyes wide in the small holes crudely cut into the mask. Buck mused that he looked like a cliché bank robber, and that was when he got an idea. It was a longshot, but he had to try something, and it was the least risky of all the plans he had in mind.

“You have leverage,” he started, trying to keep his voice soft and non-confrontational, like an old friend suggesting a new restaurant.

“What do you mean?” The man shot him a glare, but didn’t say anything and didn’t aim his gun at them, so Buck continued.

“You have hostages. Now you need to build a rapport with the police, show them you’re willing to work with them if they’ll work with you. Then they’ll be more likely to give you what you want.”

“Who the hell are you?” the man spat, taking aim right at Buck’s face. “Are you a cop?”

Buck’s blood turned cold, but he just pressed Chris tighter to his chest. He swallowed thickly, knowing his voice was going to sound weak before he even formed the first word. “I’m a firefighter, but I know a lot of cops. I’ve even seen a couple of things like this play out. They’re going to call the bank soon to try and establish communication. You can use us as your leverage. Tell them you'll release the kids and the pregnant woman, then make your demands. Once you show mercy, they’re more likely to give you what you want.”

Buck really hoped the guy was dumb enough not to know that he was talking out of his ass. He had no idea how hostage situations typically played out, he had only ever seen them happen on TV. He just needed to talk this bastard into letting Christopher go. Once he was safely out of the building, Buck would finally be able to do something to end this nightmare.

The man seemed to mull this over, biting his lip and slowly nodding. He lowered his gun, loosening some of the tension in Buck’s shoulders. “Alright. I like the way you think. Maybe you should’ve been my partner.”

As if on queue, the phone behind the counter started to ring. The two tellers looked at each other, their hands still raised in the air. They both glanced at the gunman, silently asking him what he wanted them to do.

“Hand it here!” the gunman barked, making both girls jump. The redhead bank teller picked up the phone and held it out for him, and he snatched it from her quick enough to make her squeak in surprise. He hit a button and pressed the receiver to his ear, glancing around the room as he talked. “Hello?”

The man listened for a moment, tapping his foot impatiently. “I’m not telling you my name. I want an unmarked car and safe passage to it.” He glanced at Buck, who got a chill down his spine at the coldness in the man’s eyes. “As a show of good faith, if you agree to my demands, I’ll send out the kid and pregnant lady I got in here. Once I do that, I’ll give you thirty minutes to get me my car. After I’m gone, you can have the rest of them. But if you don’t agree right now, they all die.”

Christopher whimpered again and Buck shushed him softly, still trying to listen to the conversation. “I won’t let him hurt you,” Buck promised, stroking the little boy’s cheek with his thumb.

“Good choice,” the man grumbled, ending the call and slipping the cordless phone into his pocket. “Alright, Mom,” he pointed his finger at the pregnant woman sitting against the teller desk. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and a hand on her round belly. “You and that girl are out of here. Get up.”

“And my son,” Buck added quickly, sitting up on his heels. He still held Christopher pressed to his chest, turning to keep his own body in between the boy and the gunman.

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” the man sighed, motioning to them to wrap it up. “Hurry.”

“Can you carry him?” Buck asked the young girl as she helped the pregnant lady stand. She was young and short, but looked to be strong enough to carry the small boy. She nodded, and he gave her a grateful smile before turning back to Christopher. He took the boy’s tear-stained face in his hand and met his eyes, feeling tears of his own start to well up. “Okay, Christopher. This nice girl is going to take you outside where it’s safe.”

“I don’t wanna leave you,” Christopher sobbed, desperately clinging to fistfuls of Buck’s shirt.

“I’ll be fine. Don’t you worry about me.” He smiled reassuringly, pressing a kiss to Christopher’s forehead before wrapping him in a tight hug. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, daddy,” Christopher whispered.

Buck sucked in a breath in surprise, failing to keep his tears at bay. With one more kiss to Christopher’s hair, he reluctantly let him go, helping him stand up so the girl could pick him up. Chris clung to Buck’s sleeve as long as he could, until the young teen hoisted him up onto her back.

“Hurry up!” the gunman shouted, startling Chris into clinging to the girl’s shoulders.

With tears in his eyes, Buck watched them go, giving Chris a smile and a wave as the little boy craned his neck to look back at him. As the three made it passed both sets of doors, Buck released a sigh of relief, bowing his head as a fresh wave of tears fell. He swiped them away with the back of his hand, taking a deep breath. No matter what happened next, Christopher was safe.

“Go lock the door,” barked the masked man, startling Buck out of his thoughts and bringing him back to the situation at hand.

The older man glared at the robber as he got up and went to the door, sliding the lock back into place. Buck just sat there on his heels, eyes now fixed on the gunman and the gun he held in his shaking hand. The guy was a few inches shorter than Buck, but just as broad as the firefighter. If things were to get physical, it wouldn’t be easy, especially with a gun in the equation.

But now that Christopher was safe, Buck was free to do whatever necessary to put a stop to the situation before anyone got hurt.

…

Eddie hated the tension he felt in the air around the bank. Police were everywhere, at least six squad cars that he could see, a couple of SWAT vans, and two other ambulances aside from theirs. At least a hundred bystanders had gathered outside of the perimeter with their phones held up, waiting to capture tragedy if it struck. He was leaned up against their ambulance with Chim, Hen, and Bobby, staying safely on the opposite side of the ambulance as the bank, waiting to be needed. Bobby was watching the police as they milled about, Athena one of the many uniforms on the scene. Chim and Hen were peeking around the ambulance to watch the bank, their faces drawn with concern. Eddie just stared up at the sky, hoping that they wouldn’t end up being needed. He couldn’t imagine how terrified the people inside were.

“Hostages coming out!” someone shouted, a commotion picking up.

Eddie didn’t move from his position, but was ready to go and fetch the hostages at Bobby’s orders. He wasn’t in a place where he could see the bank, but he could see Hen, Chim, and Bobby’s faces change from concern to blank shock in a split second. Just the shift in energy alone was enough to send Eddie’s heart racing, pounding in his ears. What were they seeing? Before he could move to see for himself, he paused at Hen’s exclamation, almost afraid of what he was going to see when he looked.

“Oh my god. Is that…?” Hen breathed, and the concern in her voice wasn’t lost on him.

“Eddie…” Chim said, grabbing Eddie’s arm and pulling him over to where he could see. “Eddie, look!” he cried, pointing at the three hostages coming out of the bank.

Eddie’s heart sank as he looked toward the hostages, all breath leaving his lungs in a rush. On the back of a teenage girl was his son, clinging to the girl and looking utterly terrified and heartbroken. As ice cold adrenaline rushed through his limbs, Eddie took off running toward them. A cop grabbed him, yelling at him to stay back until they were cleared. The words barely registered to Eddie, his mind whirring with absolute terror.

“That’s my son!” Eddie screamed at him, fighting against his hold. “Christopher!”

“Dad!” Chris cried, as he and the girl carrying him were guided away from the bank by a few armored members of the SWAT team.

Finally, the cop released him as the hostages were being guided toward them. As soon as they were close enough, Eddie and Chris were reaching for each other. Tears were threatening to spill over as he lifted Christopher off the girl’s back and clutched him to his chest. He pressed kisses to Christopher’s head as the boy wept against his shoulder, small arms wrapped around Eddie’s neck and gripping his shirt. Hen and Chim were tending to the other two, who seemed shaken but unharmed, but Eddie didn’t care about anything other than the boy in his arms.

“Are you hurt? What were you doing in there?” Eddie asked, taking Chris back to where he and his team had just been standing behind the ambulance.

“I’m okay,” Christopher sniffled, snuggling his face into the crook of his father’s neck. “Buck kept me safe.”

The sudden realization washed over Eddie like a tidal wave knocking him over, and he barely caught himself with his back against the ambulance before his legs could give out from under him. Of course Buck was in there. Eddie found Bobby’s concerned eyes as he approached them, and Bobby seemed to understand without a word between them.

“Buck’s in there, isn’t he?” Bobby asked, resignation in his voice and fear in his eyes.

All Eddie could do was nod, words failing him as his tears finally broke free and rolled down his face. Bobby closed his eyes with a sigh, bowing his head for a moment before crossing himself. Eddie turned back to the bank, even though they couldn’t see anything through the closed blinds. As he rubbed soothing circles against his son’s back, Eddie tried to pull some comfort from him in return. There was absolutely nothing he could do to help the man he loved. All he could do was wait, and hope.

…

The man in the mask paced across the tile nervously, and Buck never took his eyes off him. It had been at least a half hour since Christopher, the teen, and the expectant mother had been released, but there was still no sign of the car. Buck knew that they weren’t actually getting the man a getaway car, but he was willing to give the police a chance to make and execute a plan before he tried anything Bobby would call “stupid” or “reckless.” But as the minutes ticked on, the man was beginning to get visibly agitated, and that was dangerous. The more desperate and anxious the gunman got, the less likely Buck and the other hostages were going to get out of there unscathed. Buck had faith in the police, but at the moment, he knew more about the gunman’s mental state than they did, and Buck was ready to put a stop to the situation as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

The gunman nervously checked his watch again, pulling the cordless phone out of his pocket to check it before shoving it back in. He was so strung out that his voice came out high pitched and strangled, spit flying from his mouth as he shouted. “Where the fuck is my ride?!”

Buck slowly stood up from where he was crouching, and the man turned on him in an instant, hand shaking as he aimed directly at Buck. The firefighter shot his hands up in surrender, heart skipping. It wasn’t the first time he’d had a gun pointed at him, but he figured it was something that never got any less terrifying, no matter how many times it happened.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?!” the nervous man shouted, stepping closer to Buck. “Sit back down!”

“Look, I’ve got a bad leg,” Buck gave him his most innocent smile as he shook out his left leg. “I just need to straighten it for a sec. See, a couple years ago I got crushed—”

“I don’t give a fuck! Sit back down!” the gunman screeched, using the gun to point to the floor.

The second it was no longer aimed at his chest, Buck lunged. His fingers wrapped around the man’s wrist, pushing the gun away as he plowed shoulder-first into the man’s torso. The man stumbled back a few steps, but somehow stayed on his feet. The two of them struggled against each other, trying to land punches where they could as both men fought for control of the weapon. Somehow in the struggle, the gun came to be between the two of them, both still struggling to push the barrel toward each other.

When the shot rang out, Buck froze, breath catching in his throat as his eyes went wide.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't murder me.

The pop of gunfire had everyone in the area ducking behind vehicles or diving to the ground. Eddie clutched Chris to his chest as he ducked behind the ambulance. He could feel his pulse pounding throughout his body, adrenaline coursing through his veins as fear settled in the pit of his stomach. His hands were trembling as he held Chris tightly, his fingers practically numb as they dug into Christopher’s side and tangled in his curls. Then there was a commotion, people screaming, an officer announcing that more hostages were exiting. Bobby and Eddie dared to peek around the ambulance as the SWAT team and police were rushing into the building. Eddie caught sight of the other hostages as police guided them behind one of the other ambulances to be checked. He even saw the girl who had carried Chris out run up to one of the women who had come from the bank. The pit in his stomach grew as he scanned every face and realized Buck wasn’t among them.

“Where is he? Where’s Buck?” Eddie asked no one in particular, eyes darting over to the entrance to the building.

Police radios crackled to life with garbled words Eddie was too far away to hear, and Athena shot them a grim look on her way by, calling to Hen and Chim. “The scene is secure, but they need a medic in there.”

Hen and Chim glanced at Eddie and took off with the backboard, but Eddie stayed frozen to the spot, his watering eyes not leaving the entrance of the bank. Christopher’s little fingers were curled into his shirt, clutching the fabric desperately, just as Eddie was clinging to him. He could feel his son’s tears soaking through the shoulder of his shirt, and he felt his own tears break free from his eyes and cascade down his face. Why wasn’t Buck with the rest of the hostages?

“Eddie.”

He felt like he was going to hurl. Or faint. Or both. He could hardly suck in a breath deep enough to fill his aching chest. He carded his fingers through Christopher’s hair gently, trying to pull as much comfort from his son as he hoped he was giving.

“Eddie!”

Bobby’s voice finally cut through to him and Eddie found his eyes. He looked like he was near tears himself, but he was doing a much better job of keeping his emotions under control. The older man gave him a tender look, nodding his head toward the building. “Go. I’ll stay with Christopher.”

Chris sat up from where he’d buried his face in Eddie’s shoulder. He still had tears streaming passed his glasses and down his cheeks, but he put on the bravest face Eddie had ever seen as he took Eddie’s face in his small hands. “Go help Buck. He’s more scared than me.”

Eddie nodded slowly, his words sinking in. God, he loved his brave, selfless son. Pressing a quick kiss to Christopher’s cheek, he set him on the ground next to Bobby, heart swelling with pride as Chris took the Captain’s hand. With a nod to them both, he took off in a sprint across the parking lot. The closer he got to the bank, the harder his heart pounded in his chest. He wasn’t sure what kind of scene he was about to walk into, but fear didn’t stop him from slamming through both sets of double doors. He froze a step into the building, his heart thumping louder and harder in his chest than it had been just a moment ago. A few people were standing or moving around, most of them uniformed law enforcement, but Eddie’s eyes went directly to the scene unfolding directly in front of him. Chim and Hen were hunched over a body on the floor, working quickly, a sense of urgency in their voices as they discussed treatment. Vibrant, angry crimson seeped across the cream-colored tile from the motionless form they were working on. Eddie couldn’t see the face from his position, blocked by Chimney’s hunched form, but he didn’t need to see the face for boiling-hot terror to rush through his veins.

“Eddie…”

Buck’s unmistakable rasp cut through every negative emotion swirling through Eddie like a hot knife. Eddie spun around, heart leaping into his throat and choking him with unbridled hope. Buck was off in the front corner of the lobby with Athena. His shirt and jacket were spattered in blood, but none of it was concentrated enough in one spot for it to be from him. He was visibly trembling and looked ill, tears having made their marks down his unusually pale cheeks.

But he was standing.

As their eyes met, the suffocating pressure in Eddie’s chest lifted and he could breathe again. With a few quick strides he was pulling Buck into his chest, one hand gripping the back of Buck’s jacket, the other getting lost in his disheveled hair as he cradled Buck’s head to his shoulder. Buck seemed to relax the second he was in Eddie’s arms, a shuttering sob causing his chest to heave. He could feel Buck’s hands curl into his back, gripping his shirt and pressing their bodies as close together as they could get. Eddie’s fingers carded through Buck’s hair, caressing the back of his head as Buck burrowed his face into the crook of Eddie’s neck. Buck’s tears and breath were hot against his skin, and every choked breath made Eddie’s heart ache.

“Is Christopher okay?” Buck asked, barely above a whisper, words muffled against Eddie’s shoulder.

His heart clenched at the way Buck’s words trembled with fear. “He’s fine. He’s outside with Bobby.”

“I think I killed him,” Buck whimpered, sounding close to breaking. “We struggled for the gun and it just… went off.”

“It was not your fault, Buck,” Eddie corrected softly. “You’re a damn hero. I mean, you’re a reckless dumbass, but you’re still a hero. I’m just glad the bullet didn’t hit you.”

Buck choked out a wet laugh, sniffling against Eddie’s shoulder. “Thanks, Eddie.”

Eddie gently pushed Buck back enough to look at him. He slid his hand down from Buck’s hair to caress his cheek, tenderly running his thumb under his eye to wipe away the tears that had escaped. “I’m grateful that you keep saving Christopher. Really, I am. But damn it, Buck, you two have got to stop getting into trouble together.”

Buck choked out a laugh, covering the hand Eddie had on his cheek with his own.

“You did good, Buckaroo,” Athena cooed in a proud, motherly tone, hand coming to rest on his shoulder. “Let’s get you two out of here and back to your baby.”

Buck nodded with a small smile, eyes moving back to the gunman as Hen and Chim moved him onto the backboard. Another couple of medics came into the bank with a stretcher, taking over transporting the now unmasked gunman. His chest was covered in blood and bandages, but he was moving and groaning, even as one of the officers cuffed him to the stretcher. Chim shot Buck a smile and a thumbs up from across the lobby, and Eddie felt Buck squeeze his hand. He could sense the relief coming off Buck in waves, his tense muscles relaxing under Eddie’s hand.

“He’s gonna pull through, Buck,” Hen told him with a smile that held so much more than sympathy.

Buck visibly deflated, releasing a long breath. Eddie kissed his cheek, earning a small smile in return. He watched as a number of emotions passed over Buck’s face, settling on something Eddie could only describe as panic. Buck’s eyes wandered over the lobby quickly, and the moment they landed on something in particular, his blue eyes hardened. It was unusual to see such disdain in Buck’s eyes, and it made the hair on the back of Eddie’s neck stand on end. Something was wrong. He followed Buck’s line of sight to an older man in a nice suit, standing by the teller counter and talking to a police officer. He could sense the tension come back to Buck’s body, and Eddie instinctively moved to put his body between the man and Buck. He didn’t know what his boyfriend had against the man, but he knew it wasn’t good.

“Buck? What is it?” Eddie asked, turning back to his boyfriend in concern.

“Athena,” Buck whispered, nodding toward the suited man over Eddie’s shoulder. “That guy, the bank manager. You need to look into him.”

Athena placed her hands on her hips, careful not to look at the man too quickly. Eddie didn’t miss the way she discreetly undid the snap holding her gun in its holster. “And why’s that?”

“I’m pretty sure he was in on it,” Buck told her, never taking his eyes off the man. “The way he spoke to the gunman, acted around him. It wasn’t normal. It was like he wasn’t afraid of him at all.”

Eddie looked back at the man in time to see him notice them staring. His shoulders squared as he glanced at the exit, and all of the police officers between himself and the doors. His eyes went wide and wild, and Eddie knew that something was about to happen before the man ever moved. In one quick motion the manager grabbed the gun off the officer in front of him, shoving the him to the ground and bringing the gun up to aim in their direction.

Before Eddie could react, he felt strong hands on his chest, shoving him aside with so much force that Eddie could barely keep himself from hitting the floor. As he caught his balance, the deafening explosion of gunfire rang out in the small bank, sending Eddie’s mind spinning again. The manager’s chest exploded in a haze of blood and he collapsed to the ground with a sickening thud, his shirt rapidly turning from blue to red. Eddie reeled around and his eyes landed on Athena first, her gun in her outstretched hands, a fierce look on her face.

Then he saw Buck, the wide-eyed shock on his face, and the red blossoming across his shirt and jacket.

“Buck?” Eddie gasped in disbelief, vision instantly blurring.

Buck swayed, and Eddie was propelled forward by instinct, barely catching Buck under the arms as he tipped backward.

“Buck!” Eddie cried as Buck fell into his chest. The momentum of Buck’s taller frame threw off Eddie’s balance completely, and all he could do was slow Buck’s descent to the floor. “No, no no no no…” Eddie choked. His hands moved to cover the wound in Buck’s chest faster than he could think to do so, muscle memory stepping in as coherent thought failed him.

Chim and Hen were beside them in a flash, but Eddie didn’t move his hands until Hen told him to, replacing his hands with a gauze pad. He moved back to sit on his heels, giving their friends room to work, but he stayed by Buck’s head.

“Buck? Can you hear me?” Chim asked, putting on his stethoscope and pressing the end to Buck’s chest. “Can you take a deep breath for me?”

Buck gasped and sputtered, a look of surprise still on his face. His breathing was badly labored already, and Eddie’s instincts told him what was wrong before the words left Chim’s mouth.

“Sounds like a pneumothorax,” Chim announced grimly, meeting Hen’s eyes. “We need to get him stabilized and moving as quick as we can.”’

“Eddie?” Buck choked, barely focused eyes searching for him.

“I’m here, Buck,” Eddie answered quickly, gently brushing his knuckles over Buck’s hair, trying not to smear his own blood through his hair. “I’m right here with you.”

“You’re gonna be just fine, Buckaroo,” Hen told him, giving him a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes as she cut his shirt open. “Just hold on. You know we’re gonna take good care of you.”

Buck was obviously struggling to take in a breath, even after an oxygen mask was placed over his face. Eddie couldn’t even keep up with everything Hen and Chim were saying, eyes locked with Buck’s and focused solely on calming his boyfriend. He was grateful that his two friends were able to keep their minds clear and clinical as they worked on Buck, because Eddie was too lost in terror to think. The joy that usually lit up Buck’s blue eyes was nowhere to be seen, replaced with a fear that turned his irises a dark. Buck grimaced as a needle was inserted into the side of his chest, squeezing his eyes shut with a gasp of pain. Eddie just shushed him gently, running his knuckles over his temple soothingly.

“You’re going to be okay, Buck,” Eddie whispered through his own tears, trying to convince himself as much as his boyfriend.

“I love you,” Buck breathed from behind he oxygen mask, the needle in his chest seemingly making it a bit easier to breathe.

“I love you, too,” Eddie chuckled, letting his tears fall unchecked.

“Alright, we have to get moving. Now,” Chim announced as one of the other medics on the scene rolled up with a stretcher. “Eddie, I assume you’re riding with us?”

Eddie nodded his reply, dropping a kiss to Buck’s forehead. “I’m right here, babe. I’m not going anywhere.”

Buck just nodded in understanding, eyes locked on Eddie as the three medics lifted him onto the gurney. Athena appeared beside Eddie as he stood with them, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He met her eyes, and suddenly he was thrown back into reality. His racing mind landed on his son, who was still outside waiting for him, and his heart sank.

“Christopher—"

“Go,” Athena said, gently pushing him to follow the gurney. “Bobby and I will bring him to the hospital.”

“Thank you,” he whispered, hurrying to follow them as they started to roll Buck out of the bank.

…

Athena watched them move out of the bank, following closely behind. Eddie stayed right beside Buck, helping to load him into the ambulance before climbing in behind Chim. As the ambulance drove off, Athena scanned the people around the scene until her eyes landed on her husband, her heart breaking at the look of horror on his face. He had moved away from the ambulance, keeping Christopher turned away from the chaos as he held the boy close to his side. They sat beside each other on the sidewalk across the street, away from the onlookers and police, Christopher clinging to Bobby with his head burrowed in his shoulder. It would be a precious sight, if not for the situation. Bobby met Athena’s gaze as she made her way over to them. He looked like a half-broken man on the verge of shattering. She swallowed her emotions, forcing her voice to come out evenly.

“You two okay?” She knelt down in front of them, running a comforting hand over Christopher’s back as she leaned in to kiss her husband’s cheek.

“Where are my dads?” Christopher tearfully demanded, peeking out at Athena but keeping his head down.

Athena smiled softly, not missing the plural. “Buck got a little hurt, but he’s going to be fine. Your dad went with him to hold his hand so he wouldn’t be scared. He didn’t want to leave you, but I told him that Bobby and I would take good care of you.”

She met her husband’s gaze again, and the way his eyes glistened as he sucked in a deep breath told her he understood what she was silently conveying to him. Buck wasn’t okay, but she hoped that he would be.

“We’re going to take you to see them, okay?” Bobby asked, earning a small nod from the boy under his arm.

Bobby stood with Christopher and picked him up, holding the small boy against his chest with one arm as his free hand found Athena’s. She could feel the tremble in his hand, and ran her fingers over his knuckles as they walked to her squad car.

…

It had been less than two years since the last time Eddie was riding in the back of an ambulance, watching someone he loved slipping away. He gripped Buck’s hand tight, keeping his eyes locked on Buck’s as Chim kept a close watch of his vitals. Eddie felt the familiar signs of a panic attack settling into his chest, but kept count of his breaths to keep himself calm. Buck needed him right now, he didn’t have time to freak out over the parallels in his life. This was nothing like the last time, he told himself. Buck wasn’t Shannon. As much as he cared for her, Eddie knew that Buck was more of a fighter than she ever was. He was a survivor, had lived through countless accidents and natural disasters. Getting shot was just another Tuesday for Evan Buckley, compared to all that he had been through in his life. Buck was going to survive this, too.

He had to.

“Not… how I—I pictured… today…” Buck rasped, smirking behind his oxygen mask.

“No talking, Buck,” Chim ordered softly. “Save your breath.”

“You can take Christopher to the arcade after you get out of the hospital,” Eddie told him, bringing Buck’s knuckles to his lips.

“Probably want to avoid skee ball and air hockey for a while, though,” Chim quipped. “Those may hurt a bit.”

Buck smiled at that, blinking his eyes as if struggling to keep them open. “Tired…”

“I know, babe, but you need to stay awake,” Eddie told him, squeezing his hand to get his attention. “Just a little longer, and then you can rest. Just keep those beautiful eyes open for me.”

“You flirt…” Buck breathed, his grip on Eddie’s hand weakening as his eyes slipped closed.

“Buck? Buck!” Eddie hollered, patting the back of Buck’s hand until he opened his eyes again.

Chim cursed. “Hen! How much further?”

“Twelve minutes,” she called back. “How’s our boy doing back there?”

“Shave off a few minutes if you can, Hen,” was all Chim gave as an answer, voice uncharacteristically grim.

“Eddie?” Buck’s voice was barely a whisper now, his half-opened eyes finding Eddie’s.

“I’m here, Evan.” Eddie felt like he had no more tears left in him to cry, and yet a fresh flow began as Buck squeezed his hand weakly.

“I’m sorry…” The whimper was like a knife through Eddie’s heart, but not as sharp as Buck’s next words, or the way he was gasping for breath. “I don’t… wanna leave…”

“You’re not leaving,” Eddie countered quickly, forcing his voice to come out steady. “You’re going to be fine, Buck. You hear me? You’ve survived worse than this.”

Buck shook his head, and Eddie felt his heart shatter at the sight of a tear sliding down his cheek. “You… Chris…” Buck gasped, his lips curling up slightly at the corners. “Loves… o’ma life…”

“BP is dropping!” Chim called out over the heart monitor starting to beep faster.

With a small smile on his face, Buck choked and gasped, eyes rolling back into his head, and panic squeezed Eddie’s heart.

“Buck? Buck!” Eddie cried, just as the rapid beeping turned to one steady tone. Eddie leapt up from his seat, training and instinct moving him to start chest compressions as Chim hurried to replace the oxygen mask with a resuscitator bag. “Come on, Buck,” Eddie all but whimpered, tears falling freely as he felt Buck’s ribs crack. “Please don’t leave me…”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for not murdering me! :D

The air inside the SUV was thick with anxiety, the sirens cutting through the silence between the three of them. As Athena sped through the streets of LA, she glanced into the rearview mirror at her two passengers. Christopher was buckled into the middle of the backseat, leaning against Bobby's side. He had begged the Captain to sit with him, so with an amused shrug from Athena, Bobby had settled in next to the boy, draping his arm around his small frame and holding him securely against his side. Christopher looked close to asleep, if not there already. Completely exhausted from the events of the day, his head lulled limply against Bobby's arm. The Captain had his eyes fixed to the road ahead, his shoulders rigid and mouth set in a firm line. Athena only needed a glance to know what Bobby was thinking, what he was feeling, and she had the same thoughts and emotions battling within herself at the moment. Still, she knew Buck, and so did Bobby. Buck was a fighter, a survivor. After every freak accident and natural disaster that the kid had been through, it would be devastatingly cruel for him to be taken out by something as unspectacular as a greedy bank manager with a stolen gun.

But if there was one thing Athena knew better than she knew Buck, it was that the universe was devastatingly cruel.

“He's going to be fine,” she said to herself as much as to Bobby, who just hummed and nodded in response. “That boy deserves a blaze of glory, not this. Not something so simple. He's going to get through this.”

“He's managed to survive every blaze of glory the universe has thrown at him,” Bobby said, voice so soft it broke Athena's heart. “It's the simple things I'm afraid of.”

…

He couldn’t get it off.

Eddie stood at the bathroom sink with his LAFD sweatshirt sleeves pushed up to his elbows, steaming hot water running as he scrubbed the soap into his skin. The suds were no longer copper colored, having washed his lover’s blood thoroughly from his hands with the first two pumps of soap, but he could still see it, could still feel the sticky wetness of his best friend’s life on his fingers. He rinsed the suds away and pumped another handful of soap into his palm, going about scrubbing every finger individually again, picking under his nails until they felt like they may pop off if he did it one more time, scrubbing well passed his wrists and up his arms. His lip trembled and his vision blurred as the scrubbing became more desperate, but he kept the sob locked inside his throat. It just wouldn't come off. Why wasn't it coming off?

He heard the door open, but didn’t really register that someone had entered the bathroom until he felt a hand on his forearm. He looked up, seeing Chim standing next to him in the mirror. The shorter man met his reflection’s gaze with a sadness in his eyes that made it that much harder for Eddie to keep his tears under control. Breaking eye contact, Chim laid a hand on Eddie's, stopping his furious scrubbing with a gentle touch.

“You’re gonna scrub your skin off, Eddie. I think that’s enough,” Chim said softly, guiding Eddie’s hands under the stream of water to rinse the suds away.

Eddie kept his eyes on his friend’s reflection as he tenderly rinsed the soap from Eddie's hands. Even as the water was shut off, Eddie didn't move or speak. Chim grabbed some paper towels from the dispenser and turned Eddie to face him, taking his shaking hands into his own and drying them off with a delicate touch. Eddie watched Chim’s face, mouth set in a soft line, eyes focused on Eddie’s hands.

“You’re not alone, you know,” Chim stated softly, looking up to meet Eddie’s gaze. He let go of the taller man’s hands, balling up the paper towels and tossing them into the garbage can across the room, right on top of Eddie's blood-spattered uniform shirt. “We all love Buck. And that’s not a measuring contest, I know this is harder on you than any of us, I’m just saying.” He gripped Eddie’s arm, and Eddie felt himself steady some. “You’re not alone in this. We love you, and we’re here for you.”

Chimney’s words cut through the haze of grief in Eddie’s mind, and he felt his resolve crack. The sob he had been keeping buried deep broke through the surface, and in an instant he was leaning against Chim’s chest, head on his shoulder as he sobbed. Chim shushed him gently, rubbing his back and squeezing him as tight as he could.

Eddie wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, Chim trying to hold him together as he fell apart, but after a few moments Chimney convinced him to return to the waiting room. Hen was still out there, and everyone else would be showing up soon. Chim kept a steadying hand on Eddie’s back as they left the bathroom, and Eddie was grateful for the other man grounding him. Hen was leaning against the wall outside of the bathrooms, shooting the two men a sympathetic half smile when she saw them coming out. Eddie’s eyes instantly fell to the clear plastic bag she was holding, immediately recognizing Buck’s shoes and wallet.

“They gave me his personal effects,” Hen shrugged, holding the bag out to Eddie.

Eddie took it with a nod of understanding. When Hen held out her arms with a ghost of a smile that didn't reach her eyes, Eddie couldn't fight the instinct to give into the comfort she offered.

“He’s alive, Eddie,” she whispered, squeezing him a little tighter. “Hold onto that.”

Eddie flashed her a weak but grateful smile as they moved to sit down in the waiting area. He silently took a seat in the corner by the entrance to the ER, clutching the plastic bag full of Buck’s things in his hands. His eyes roamed the large waiting room before settling on the blank wall across from him as a chill ran down his spine. He pulled the sleeves down on the sweatshirt Hen had given him from a storage compartment in the ambulance, thankful to have something to wear that wasn't covered in his boyfriend's blood. To his right sat Chim, then Hen, speaking to each other in soft tones. Eddie didn’t try to listen to what they were saying. The sound of the waiting room faded into unintelligible white noise. He had no way of knowing how long he sat like that before being pulled out of his trance. The sliding doors of the entrance opened, the sound blending into the rest of the noise and going unnoticed until he heard his son’s voice.

“Dad!”

Bobby and Athena were each holding one of Christopher’s hands, steadying the boy as they walked in together. Eddie was up in a flash, dropping the bag in his seat as he moved to meet them at the door. Scooping his son up into his arms, Eddie squeezed him tight as the boy clung to his neck, taking in a steadying breath to keep the tears at bay. He met Bobby’s eyes, then Athena’s, nodding his thanks.

“How’s Buck?” Bobby asked, a hesitance in his voice, as he looked between the three who had brought him to the hospital.

“Not good,” Chim sighed.

Eddie shot him a look as Chris stiffened in his arms. Chim just shrugged, giving him an apologetic wince. He kissed Christopher’s head, rubbing his back. “Hey, he’ll be okay.”

“He, uh…” Hen glanced at Christopher, choosing her words carefully. “He crashed on the way here. They got him back, but…” she swallowed, unable to go on.

“It took a while,” Chim finished for her, a grim look on his face.

Bobby released a breath, grabbing Athena’s hand. Eddie felt sick as the memory of those eight horrible minutes flashed through his mind. He could still hear the heart monitor alarm ringing in his ears, still feel Buck’s ribs breaking under his hands, still feel the pit of anguish growing deeper and deeper in his chest with every minute that passed in which Buck was clinically dead. They had regained a pulse just before they got to the hospital, his lungs taking in air without the aid of the resuscitator bag. Still, Eddie couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that, for eight minutes, Buck was dead.

And he wasn’t out of the woods yet.

“He’s in surgery now,” Eddie added, trying to force his mind to focus on the present. Like Hen had told him, Buck was alive, and he had to hold onto that.

“So now we wait,” Athena sighed, tugging Bobby along with their entwined fingers as she went to take a seat beside Hen. “Did anyone call Maddie?”

“I called as soon as we got here,” Chim answered. “She should be here soon.”

“Where are your crutches, buddy?” Eddie asked Christopher, only just now realizing they were missing. Had they been missing the entire time?

“In Daddy’s car,” Chris answered, leaning back to look at his father directly. “When can I see him?”

Eddie was caught off-guard by the new title Buck seemed to have acquired, but he was more surprised by how right and beautiful it sounded. Eddie found his seat again, handing the bag of Buck’s things to Christopher as he settled in with his son on his lap. “As soon as he’s out of surgery, we’ll go see him.”

Christopher nodded in understanding, staring at the contents of the bag as he clutched it in his hands. Shoes, wallet, phone, keys. His clothes were gone, having been cut off of him either in the bank or there in the hospital. Chris turned the bag over in his hands quickly, letting out a little sigh that sounded full of relief as he touched something through the plastic. Eddie looked closer, curious, his heart skipping a beat when he saw the little black box. He didn’t say anything, just snaked his arms under Christopher’s, hugging his son close. A sad smile tugging at his lips, tears welled in his eyes.

He just hoped he’d have the chance to say yes.

…

The sun was starting to set as Eddie stared out the window. Christopher was still sitting in his lap, laying flush against Eddie’s chest, his head tucked into the crook of his father’s neck. He had fallen asleep sometime after Maddie had arrived, when the team had settled into an anxiety-filled silence. His breath was warm on Eddie’s neck, and it kept the man grounded in reality and out of his morbid imagination. He kept his arms curled around his son, who was still clutching the bag of Buck’s belongings to his chest like a teddy bear. Eddie couldn’t help but smile, knowing that Christopher had taken on the mission of keeping the items – or at least one in particular – safe.

The doors leading back to the ER opened, and Eddie watched as a young doctor glanced around the large lobby before her eyes landed on them. His heart sank as he realized she was the doctor who had met them at the ambulance bay when they first arrived. She smiled as she moved toward them, and a jolt of hope shot through him. Surely she wouldn’t be smiling if Buck hadn’t survived the surgery. He sat up a little straighter as the rest of them seemed to notice her too.

“Your friend is quite a fighter,” she began cheerfully. “I’m Doctor Ellie Kemp, I’m mister Buckley’s doctor.”

“How is he? Can we see him?” Maddie asked, standing up from her seat, nervously wrapping her sweater tighter around herself.

“Soon, he’s still in recovery. As soon as he’s in a room, someone will come get you,” she smiled. “To be frank,” she glanced at Christopher, continuing once she saw that he was still asleep. “I didn’t expect mister Buckley to survive surgery, but he made it through with no complications.”

The entire team collectively sighed in relief. Eddie didn’t bother to hold back the tears that welled in his eyes, burying his nose into Christopher’s hair as he let them fall. He tried to listen, to take in all that had happened to Buck, but his mind just kept flashing back to the ambulance ride, when the life faded from Buck’s eyes. He took in a deep breath, grounding himself with the presence of his son. He could ask Maddie to explain it to him later, to tell him what he needed to know so he could care for his boyfriend properly, but not until he was able to see him. Not until he could see the life back in his eyes.

“The good news is, we didn’t have to intubate, so he should wake up fairly soon,” the doctor continued as Eddie tuned back in. “However, with the amount of blood he lost, I wouldn’t worry too much if he doesn’t wake up tonight.”

Maddie sighed, voice shaking. “What’s the bad news?”

“The bad news isn’t what’s currently wrong, it’s what could go wrong,” Doctor Kemp explained. “Mr. Buckley is very susceptible to infection right now, especially pneumonia, so I’d like to keep him at least a week to keep a close watch over him. With the pneumothorax and the surrounding damage, as well as the broken ribs from CPR, we need to keep a close eye on his lung function and the formation of scar tissue.”

“Understandable,” Maddie breathed, and Eddie could hear the smile in her voice. “Thank you, doctor.”

Eddie looked up from his son’s hair to watch the doctor retreat back through the double doors. Chim was standing beside Maddie, arms around her like he was keeping her from falling over. Bobby had his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands as Athena rubbed a hand up and down his back. Hen was squeezing Athena’s other hand in her lap, eyes closed and head leaning back against the wall behind her, relieved tears making tracks down her face. Eddie forced himself to take a steadying breath, not caring that his own tears had made fresh tracks down his face.

Buck was alive.

He had to hold onto that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This should make up for all the pain :D
> 
> I just want to thank TheObligatedKlutz again for all the encouragement. I couldn't have finished this without you. I love you 🥰
> 
> Also thank you to all of YOU beautiful people who have commented on here or on twitter. You kept me going 💗

Eddie watched Buck’s chest rise and fall slowly, Christopher’s arm draped across Buck’s abdomen so not to hurt his broken ribs. His son – their son – was curled into Buck’s left side, head resting on his shoulder, a blanket covering him up to his chin. Eddie held Buck’s right hand on the bed, tracing patterns on his knuckles with his thumb. It was getting late, and Eddie knew that he should get Christopher home to bed, but he couldn’t bare the thought of leaving Buck alone, even for the few minutes until Maddie came to stay the night. They’d been there since the morning, Eddie and Maddie deciding to take shifts for their bedside vigil. Maddie had insisted on taking the overnight shift, assuring Eddie that she would rather Christopher rest in his own bed. Eddie was so thankful that his son was loved by the Buckley siblings. Christopher had spent the entire day talking at Buck, convinced that the man could hear him. He’d even brought his favorite book from home to read to Buck, which had sent Eddie’s heart ablaze with adoration for his thoughtful son.

It had only been a day since Buck had been shot, but it felt like eternity as they waited for him to wake up. Any moment he had to go without Buck’s laughter, his voice, his touch, felt like an eternity to Eddie. But being that the last time he had seen Buck’s smile was seconds before he had died for eight minutes, Eddie was aching. A fresh wave of tears blurred his vision and he wiped them away, squeezing Buck’s hand.

Buck had lost a lot of blood and his body was exhausted, which was the reason the doctor gave the night before when Buck didn’t wake up soon after surgery. He had been moved to the ICU for close observation, and that was where they still were. When he had come in to relieve Maddie that morning, Eddie had seen the look of concern in her eyes when she told him he hadn’t woken up at all the night before. Maddie was a nurse, she knew probably more than Eddie did about trauma, blood loss, and what happened to the brain when a patient coded. Enough to put that look of fear in her eyes, the tremble in her voice. But as Eddie sat there beside the bed, clutching his lover’s hand, he knew that it was just a matter of time until he saw those beautiful blue eyes once more. Buck was a fighter, a survivor. Maybe it was just denial, but Eddie had to hold onto that hope, if only to keep himself sane enough to be there for Christopher.

Squeezing Buck’s hand again, Eddie’s eyes flicked between the sleeping faces of the two people he loved most. His whole world was right there in front of him, together, giving and receiving comfort from each other.

“Please wake up, Buck,” Eddie whispered into the silence of the room, his words accented by the beep of the heart monitor. “I don’t even remember what it was like, not having you in my life. But I know I don’t want to go back to that. I can’t…” Eddie took a deep breath, lifting Buck’s hand to press a kiss to his knuckles. He closed his eyes against the tears. “I can’t do this without you, Buck. And I don’t want to.”

“Don’t have to.”

The voice was barely above a whisper and thick with sleep, but distinct enough to make Eddie’s heart skip a beat. When he looked up, Buck’s pink lips were pulled into a soft smile, sleep laden eyes looking back at him with a twinkle that Eddie had missed dearly.

Eddie let out a breathy chuckle, his vision blurring with fresh tears. “Buck…” He stood on shaking legs, bringing a hand up to caress Buck’s stubble-covered cheek. Buck smiled softly, leaning into the touch, and Eddie thought he might break down again right there. He leaned down, pressing his lips to Buck’s forehead, eliciting a soft, happy sigh from his boyfriend. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Buck rasped, grinning up at Eddie. Craning his neck to look at the head of golden-brown curls laying on his shoulder, his smile widened at the sight. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah,” Eddie breathed, heart leaping when Buck’s blue eyes met his once again. He reclaimed his seat beside the bed, still holding onto Buck. “Physically fine, just… terrified of losing you. We all were.”

Buck nodded, pressing a kiss to the top of Christopher’s head. “How long have I been out?”

“About a day.” Buck’s brows shot up at Eddie’s words. “What do you remember?”

“I remember getting shot. That sucked,” Buck snorted. Eddie did not find it funny, but he let Buck cope the way he needed to. “After that, it’s a bit blurry. I remember you.” Buck squeezed his hand, eyes soft. “I was terrified, but then you were there, so I wasn’t scared anymore.”

Eddie smiled, but it faltered as the memory of the day before flashed vividly through his mind. “You crashed in the ambulance. You were gone for eight minutes.” Buck’s face fell, and Eddie felt a lump of emotion form in his throat. “I didn’t think… I was afraid you wouldn’t wake up.”

“I’m here,” Buck said, letting go of Eddie’s hand to cup his cheek. He had a bit more stubble than Buck did, but he knew that Buck loved it by the twinkle in his eye. He dropped his hand back down, finding Eddie’s once again. “You should know by now, it’s pretty hard to kill Evan Buckley.”

“Thank God for that,” Eddie laughed, bringing Buck’s knuckles to his lips. “Being a stubborn son of a bitch really has served you well, hasn’t it?”

Buck snorted.

A small little groan brought their attention to the bundle of blanket and curls to Buck’s left. The tender look on Buck’s face as he watched Christopher stir made Eddie’s heart swell. He watched in amusement as the look on the little boy’s face went from sleepy and confused to wide awake and excited as he looked up at Buck and found him looking back.

“Hey, superman,” Buck smiled.

“Daddy!” Christopher gasped, his elated face screwing up with emotion as he started to weep. He dropped his head back down onto Buck’s shoulder, a small broken sob shaking his entire body.

“Whoa, hey. It’s okay. I’m okay,” Buck soothed, running his hand up and down Christopher’s back.

“I missed you,” Chris whimpered.

“I missed you, too,” Buck all but whimpered himself, kissing the top of Christopher’s head again. “I’m glad you’re okay. You were so brave yesterday. I’m very proud of you.”

“You were the bravest. You’re my hero,” Christopher muttered.

Anyone would have expected Eddie to feel some sort of jealousy or hurt over his son calling someone other than himself his hero. But as he watched Buck’s eyes water and the look on his face pass through shock and awe before settling on pure love, Eddie was pretty damn content. Add to that what his son calling the man he loved “Daddy,” and Eddie was surprised his heart was still beating, considering how much it was aching with love and joy.

Suddenly Christopher’s head snapped up, and he leaned in close to Buck’s ear to whisper. “I kept the secret safe. It’s under my pillow at home.”

Buck smiled, shooting Eddie a mischievous glance before kissing Chris on the forehead. “Thanks, buddy.”

Yeah, Eddie was pretty damn content.

…

“Welcome home!” Christopher announced cheerfully as he led them into the house, Buck following and Eddie bringing up the rear with Buck’s bag.

Buck couldn’t deny the thrill that those two words gave him. Even after months of living together, referring to what once was just Eddie and Christopher’s house as his own home still brought a smile to his face. And damn he was he glad to be home with his boys.

He had stayed in the hospital for a week, the doctor keeping a close eye on the state of his lung and checking him regularly for blood clots. After his embolism over a year ago, they couldn’t be too careful. He was annoyed to be back on blood thinners for the time being, as a precaution, but Bobby had assured him that as soon as he was healed and physically cleared, he wouldn’t stand in Buck’s way.

“We both know you’ll find trouble whether you’re on duty or not,” Bobby had joked.

The moment the doctor had told him he was cleared to go home, Buck almost cried. His ribs still ached with every breath, he could barely move his right arm without intense, burning pain in his pectoral, and he was exhausted form constantly being poked and prodded day and night. All he wanted was to go home with his boys and sleep through the night for the first time in a week.

“Why don’t you go lie down for a bit?” Eddie suggested, pressing a kiss to Buck’s cheek. “I’ll bring you your meds and then you can rest until dinner is ready.”

Buck couldn’t form a response in his mind because he was too captivated by the look of love in Eddie’s eyes, one thought running through his mind. He smiled, leaning in to capture Eddie’s lips in a gentle kiss.

“Mmm, what was that for?” Eddie purred, sending a chill down Buck’s spine.

“To thank you for taking care of me,” Buck whispered, voice wavering with emotion. “I love you.”

Eddie’s eyes became glassy. “It’s my pleasure.” He stole one more kiss from Buck’s lips, grinning. “And I love you, too.”

As Eddie walked away to the kitchen, Buck was suddenly struck with intense feelings of urgency and desire.

He wanted to marry Eddie Diaz.

It was too late in the day to run off to the courthouse, it would be closed by the time they got there. Not to mention the fact that, damn it, he wanted a huge ass wedding. He wanted a celebration with Eddie’s family and the family that Buck had found at the 118. But most of all, he wanted to announce as loudly and proudly as he could that Eddie Diaz was his husband.

But there was one thing he could do at that moment to get him one step closer to that dream.

“Hey, Christopher!” Buck called, heading into Christopher’s room where he had gone after they got home. He knocked on the half-open door, peering in at the boy who was gathering up crayons off his desk to bring out to the living room. “Chris, I need the secret.”

Christopher’s head shot around to Buck’s direction, a beaming smile stretching across his face. “It’s happening now?!”

Buck grinned. “I don’t think I can wait any longer. I’m more excited than you are on Christmas morning.”

The little boy gaped at him with wide eyes. “Wow. You’re really excited,” Chris breathed. Moving to his bed, he reached under his pillow and produced the small black box, handing it over to Buck. “Can I watch?”

Buck tousled Christopher’s curls. “I wouldn’t do it without you.”

The two made it out to the living room as Eddie came back from the kitchen, a glass of water in his hand. He set the cup down and picked up the bag of Buck’s things they’d brought home from the hospital, digging around for Buck’s bottles of medication. He was oblivious to the two approaching him until Buck was taking the bag from him.

“Eddie,” Buck whispered, garnering a look of confusion from his love as he sat the bag down on the coffee table.

Eddie’s brow furrowed, concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“That’s just it. Nothing is wrong,” Buck chuckled, feeling the pressure of tears building behind his eyes already. “No matter what we go through, we always find our way to each other. Even that first night we worked together. It’s like the bad stuff, like a grenade in some guy’s leg, or a tsunami, or a… a really dumb guy filing a lawsuit,” Buck chuckled, grinning when he earned a smile and an eyeroll from Eddie. “No matter what tries to take us down or tear us apart, we always come back to each other in the end. No matter what happens, just knowing that I’m going to be back in your arms when it’s over, that is enough to get me through whatever I face. And I hope you find that same comfort in me.”

Eddie breathed deeply, his eyes glassy as he nodded. “I do, Buck.”

Buck took Eddie’s hand in his, still clutching the box behind his back. “I want to promise you that I’m always going to be here, but I know I can’t. If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that life is unpredictable. But…” Buck bent down onto one knee, still holding Eddie’s hand.

Eddie sucked in a sharp breath, looking down at Buck with wide eyes. “Buck…”

“What I can promise is to always love you, and to always love Christopher. And I can promise to be here and have your back for as long as I’m allowed to.” Still clutching Eddie’s hand, Buck opened the ring box and held it up, presenting the two silver bands inside. Eddie’s tears had broken free by then, dripping from his chin as he smiled. Somewhere behind him, he could hear Christopher struggling to hold in a squeal, and it only made Buck’s heart fuller. “Eddie, will you marry me?”

Suddenly, Buck’s face was being cradled by warm, calloused hands as soft lips crashed into his. He melted into Eddie’s touch immediately, sighing happily.

“Yes,” Eddie breathed, his lips brushing against Buck’s with the single word. He leaned back enough to look Buck in the eye, still holding his face like something precious. “Yes.”

Buck beamed, shooting back up to his feet and capturing his fiancé’s lips again, curling an arm around Eddie’s waist. Christopher let out a cheer from behind them, and Eddie and Buck giggled against each other’s lips.

If Buck analyzed the worst days of his life, he would realize that they all started out great. It was because of that pattern that he made a point not to analyze his bad days. But if he did, he would realize that every bad thing that had happened in his life had led him to where he needed to be. Every experience, every tragedy, every choice, had all led him home.


End file.
